Need a friend

[kathleen8586]

I'm 23 years old and have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Sjogrens. I really need someone to talk to who has an idea of what I am going through. My family and friends offer no support. While I've tried to explain and they are sympathetic, they can't comprehend what it's like because they're not going through it. I don't understand how I've even gotten this far. Everything seems so hard and such a struggle. I feel like my life is over before it had a chance to begin, you know? Anyway, I'm having a lot of issues dealing with these diseases. I don't know what I'm going to do and really need someone to talk to who can relate. I'm a good listener as well and I think a good friend.

[Mac]

Oh, around here people get it, Kathleen, so fire away. Nothing helps like talking.

Mac

[leighdu]

Mac is absolutely right. You took one of the best steps by seeking out a community of individuals who have been there, done that, are going through it now, and potentially may be there soon. I've read a lot of threads and posts here and I guarantee you will fit right in :).

[Terrie]

Hi Kathleen:

Yes, I know about the "Family sympathy" also. When I was dxd. with RA at age 24/25, I stupidly thought that they could feel my pain, since it was so Bad. But it wasn't until many years later that my MIL was dxd. with breast cancer and then severe RA. She said to me, "I'm so sorry Terrie, I never knew how much pain that you were in". That surprised and disappointed me. No one knows unless they've got it.

I'm sorry that you are in such pain with RA and your other conditions. You will reach a point with new medications that you will feel Better or you will probably arrive at a spontaneous remission. You are probably in shock and/or denial right now. It takes a Good amount of time to accept these diseases.

[naturelover]

Kathleen wrote:

I'm 23 years old and have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Sjogrens. I really need someone to talk to who has an idea of what I am going through. My family and friends offer no support. While I've tried to explain and they are sympathetic, they can't comprehend what it's like because they're not going through it. I don't understand how I've even gotten this far. Everything seems so hard and such a struggle. I feel like my life is over before it had a chance to begin, you know? Anyway, I'm having a lot of issues dealing with these diseases. I don't know what I'm going to do and really need someone to talk to who can relate. I'm a good listener as well and I think a good friend.

Here is another of you in my part. Truly speaking, my sister is having RA particularly severe pain in her shoulder for the past four years and she is undergoing treatment. She was advised to go for big tests and so on. You won't believe, she never undertook any serious treatment, but following a very strict diet.

But now the crux of the problem, er. the issue is my wife started feeling pain in her foot, shoulder and neck. What was thought as a normal pain coming once in a while, now occurring quite often and she too started going for treatment. As of now, everything is normal.

Me and she are getting solace from reading other RA's problems from here as well as at the doctor's place. So, do not feel otherwise and come up open with your thoughts and definitely everyone will give you solace to your heart. My wishes for a speedy recovery or at least to have the least pain.

[Mockingbird]

Yes being able to manage to keep going is indeed hard. I am sure most of us have had those days. For me it took sometime before I could get to a place in my mind where the frustration was no longer center stage. You have to learn to have faith that tommorrow maybe a better day. Optimism and attitude really do help make it a bit easier, plus having great people to talk to like the people here

[kathleen8586]

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. I'm glad I came across this site. It's reassuring to know that there are others out there experiencing what I'm dealing with and who are able to cope. I am trying to be more optimistic about my future. I'm going to take it one day at a time. I definitely was in denial for a long time and maybe a bit of shock. I'm going to be starting Methotrexate injections so I'm hoping this will provide some relief. I've read some good feedback about it on here. Anyway, I'm here for you all as well if you need someone to talk with or vent to.

[crimson]

I would just like to raise this thread so that other people can open themselves because there are a lot of people here that can help you through this.

[kageyd]

I think at the moment I am the elder on the forum (at least I haven't heard from anyone older), so I'll join the chorus in welcoming you. Talk, listen, yell, share jokes - whatever takes your fancy on a given day. You won't always get a heap of replies, but you'll get some and you'll notice in the records how many "Views" you are sharing with. Our best to you. Kageyd

[prasanth5]

Forums like the rhematoid arthritis forum are your real friends and of course the posters. You spend your time in reading the messages and the posts and I hope this will help you a great deal in getting on. All of us are your friends.

[_K_]

I would like to offer friendship to you. I am 31 and I have had RA since I was 4, I have many years of experience with pain and feeling isolated etc. I have had to use a wheelchair for most of my life and for a lot of years I was in denial. I was convinced that my independence was the most vital thing I had to prove but after years of living like that I began to realise that asking for help or accepting offered help didnt prevent my independence it aided it and I became a lot happier. I wont lie to you I do occasionally have the "why me?" moments but you get through that, and realise that life goes on and you have to join it.

Feel free to vent

[kay22]

Hey Kathleen,
I'm 22 but only have RA. Sometimes just getting up in the morning is a struggle and I can't imagine how much tougher it is fighting three things at once. Have been told about treatment? I found talking to my rheumatology doctor really helpful. I asked a lot of stupid questions but I think it's important to get answers to some of the things you may be worried about. Being so young theres still so much you havent had a chance to do and I know I've felt like my whole future plans have had to change and thats just with RA but my doctors helped reassure me a lot with that.

It's so hard to explain to people who don't know what your going thru, I also find the lack of visible symptons a problem as a joint can be in agony and look perfectly normal. Theres been at least three occasions I've wanted to hit my bf because although I know he loves me he just cant understand. It nearly stopped me in my tracks when I was diagnosed and you have so much more to deal with. Try to think of the future positively the medication available for RA is getting better and better. I'm not sure how the other two are treated but after just 4 weeks of my medication I felt a massive difference. I hope your feeling better and having a good weekend, always people to rant to here :)