Hi there :)

[debby]

Hi
I am 42 and have RA and Ankylosing Spondylitis. They say life begins at 40 but i feel like mine just kinda took a nose dive when i turned 39.
Yeah feeling well sorry for myself today :rolleyes:
Anyway, i am taking methotrexate and folic acid, and pain killers.
Have had 5 bouts of Iritis in first year of being diagnosed, havent had a bout since being on the meds for 2 years now.
Today well its a bad day. I ache all over, and i feel so exhausted, even my eye lids hurt. :)
I am a full time carer for my elderly parents, my mother is 82 and has RA too, but she isnt at all sympathetic. I know she is a lot worse than i am, i know she has worked hard all her life, but it doesnt mean i have to kill myself in the process to be like her. She has 2 new knee's and is now in a wheel chair.
I am not her, she is not me, we cope differently, i think people from her generation are made of tougher stuff, they didnt have the meds we have so they just had to get on with things.
Anyway she makes me feel like crap, like i am making it all up and i should just get on.
I had to go and do her cleaning and washing and shopping this morning, even tho i could have nicely curled up and died for the day.
I have got home and got my own home and children to sort out, and i just cannot get my head around any of it.
Yeah kinda feel a bit depressed at times. Especially as i was going to the gym twice a week but had to stop due to having no spare time.
I have also been looking for work, as my children are all in full time education now, but i am stuck in a small village with no car and limited transport to nearest town 12 miles away, my husband works 12 hour shifts and has the car.
So i feel stuck here, with nothing to do for me! always doing for others, even when i feel like death warmed up :D
Sorry for the moan.
Nice to meet you all, hope your all ok at the moment, i know how this bliddy illness can come and go.
D xxxx

[kageyd]

As a lifetime social services professional, I have seen many situations like yours, and my heart goes out to you. What I can offer is a suggestion (order?) to contact your town or county social services, and through them try to get some counseling or try to join a support group, even if it is not specifically an RA support group. Elderly parents (I am 69, and hope I'm not yet in the evil category...) can be a pain - been there, done that with my and spouse's parents. You need some warm and caring support. It may well be there. Seek and find. Hugs to you. Kageyd

[debby]

As a lifetime social services professional, I have seen many situations like yours, and my heart goes out to you. What I can offer is a suggestion (order?) to contact your town or county social services, and through them try to get some counseling or try to join a support group, even if it is not specifically an RA support group. Elderly parents (I am 69, and hope I'm not yet in the evil category...) can be a pain - been there, done that with my and spouse's parents. You need some warm and caring support. It may well be there. Seek and find. Hugs to you. Kageyd

aww thankyou...i didnt know there were such groups out there.
My mother is lovely but she makes me feel i have to enter a life of martyrdom like her life was.
I feel like my life is on hold until my parents are no longer around. Not only am i finding it hard getting a job because of ill health and because i have a young child that will need care after school and during holidays, but who will look after my parents if i do end up working.
I will look and see whats out there for me...its really quite a lonely life, i know my parents have done a lot for me over the years, i think this is my mothers pay back time :rolleyes:
Thankyou :D